I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
