Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
