I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
