Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
