I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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