What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
