Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
