she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
