she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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