i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
