respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
third nipple confirmed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
