Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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