She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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