i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
