Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
