I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize