no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
