Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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