if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i think my cat just said my name.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
