i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
