man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
