I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
