ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
