I hate your face
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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