Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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