super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize