Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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