After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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