She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
