I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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