fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
