Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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