this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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