By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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