I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
