addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
