And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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