i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
