He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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