Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
