Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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