I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
