She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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