I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
