Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
