I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize