I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
