Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
