maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
