I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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