I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
