Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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