Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize