I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
