i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
