You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
