His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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