I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
