is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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