why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
