that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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