so that wasnt chicken after all
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
